Heart is breaking this week. Several things have happened that have reminded me how broken this world is. I guess this is similar to a post a few months ago, but it continues to be on my heart. Kinda just some word-vomit, not particularly organized but felt like sharing...
Today at the gym, a little girl came running in asking
someone to call the police because her mom was being beaten by her
boyfriend in their home across the street. She was calm and collected,
as if this was an everyday occurrence. She something in particular stood out to me- she said, "I have some clothes stashed outside." No little girl should have to
go through that. What has she seen in her few years? What
chance does she have if that's the environment she's grown up in and the
example she's had of a man? Makes me so sad.
Recently two of my high school classmates died after suffering from drug addiction. I didn't know either of them particularly well, but had classes with one and remember laughing at his jokes. Absolutely devastating and heartbreaking. Just shouldn't happen.
I work at a hospital near the heart of the city. A
good portion of our patients struggle with one, or any combination of
homelessness, alcoholism, and meth, cocaine, prescription drug, or heroin addiction. It's easy
to judge, and I've been guilty plenty of times. But I am reminded again
and again, I don't know their stories. I honestly feel that under other
circumstances, it could've been me in their shoes. I've worked with numerous addicts, rooted for them, hope they've stayed clean, seen some come right back. Our city has a problem with heroin. So much IV drug abuse, so many patients coming in with life and limb-threatening abscesses. The risks are huge. The drug doesn't discriminate. The power and hold it has over its captives is incredible. I'm not sure what specific resources are available in the community (methadone clinics, treatment programs, etc.), but it seems like there's got to be more we can do as a community. People are dying and it is heartbreaking.
I can only imagine how these things break God's heart. It makes me wonder, what can I do about it? How can I love those around me? How can I spread hope and lift people up? Sometimes I feel so helpless and the world seems hopeless. But it's not true, there is hope because God has overcome the world. In John 16:33 Jesus says, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
I don't have any answers. I don't think we can understand the world this side of heaven. But I know there is hope. I know I'm called to love. I fail everyday at loving those around me, but God is merciful. So much of my life and thoughts are selfish, but I'm working on it. These events have spurred my heart and sparked conversations with friends, family, and my hubby. How can we become more involved in our communities? How can we utilize our resources to meet the needs of others? How can we love each other better?
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
We bought a house!
Another super late post... BUT... We bought a house at the end of March! We're enjoying having our own space and continue to make our house our own. Here are a few photos. :)
Sunday, March 15, 2015
A delayed post
A few months ago I was driving home after meeting up with a
friend. My heart was broken over our conversation, hurting for my friend, and
confused. I pulled my car over into the parking lot of a church and I just
prayed. I sat there in the dark, talking out loud to God. Crying. Confused.
Angry. Sad. Hurt. And then I just felt peace and hope.
Things weren’t suddenly perfect. But it was like God was
saying, “Yes, you live in such a broken world. These things sadden me too. But
it’s not over. I love you so much. I love your friend. I am in control, trust
in me."
I wrote a bit back then, but I never posted it because it didn't seem complete. But I've decided to just post it anyways-
What a privilege it is to do life with people. Life is messy, we are all broken. There is heartbreak everywhere if you take time to notice. Everyone has a story.
It is easy to judge, but from my own mistakes I am reminded one piece of the story does not reveal the whole person. Besides, it's not my place to judge, I'm called to love. So that's what I will try to do.
Tonight my heart is breaking for several reasons. Romans 12:15 says, "15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." Tonight I am mourning with friends who mourn. It makes my heart sad, it hurts, but what an honor it is to get to do that. For lost friendships, damaged relationships, addictions, lost jobs, disappointments, broken families... What a blessing it is to have people to rejoice and mourn with me, and who allow me to do so with them.
What strikes me is how much it hurts to mourn with someone
else. I am incapable of doing anything to fix or change the situation. My heart
is broken for them and I am brought to tears. It hurts, it leaves me with
questions and rocks my world. But I am glad to be able to do life with them. I
am honored to be trusted with such honest, open hearts and to be able be apart
of life. I am reminded of what true community must look like, and reminded that
there is One who is bigger than all our problems, sins, and heartache. The
Healer hears our prayers, He sees our tears, and He knows our hearts.
In some of these times, I have felt the most loved. Seems a
little counter-intuitive, but God’s ways are so beyond my comprehension. In the
midst of my own trials or the heartache of a friend, there is peace that rushes
over me. And the only thing that makes sense to me is that this is God’s peace
and his love. There is hope in Him.
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
The Good Life
Living the Good Life
Life is messy. I had this expectation that the older I got, the better handle I'd have on things. You know- finally have it all together or something. Seems more like the opposite. The older I get, the more responsibilities I have, the less equipped I feel to handle them. Always something to learn, new challenges to face, ways to grow. And that's good, it makes life exciting! But there are also plenty of opportunities to make mistakes. And I do, all the time. It can be so frustrating. Mistakes in friendships, in marriage, at work, in trying to eat healthy, in sticking to a budget, in being productive, etc.. Some days it feels like that's all I am, a giant mess up. It can be disheartening. I've let it get me down for too long. But guess what?! There is good news!! God reminded me He has not given up on me. And if He hasn't given up on me, who do I think I am to give up on myself?!? I will continue to have hope because I have Jesus.
So now, I can see my failures as opportunities to grow. My failures don't mark the end, but just a step along the way. I am so imperfect. I am so messy. I am so in need of forgiveness. I am constantly being molded and changed, IF I open myself up to it. When I stop focusing on my failures, I can seek God and His forgiveness. I can move on and learn from my mistake. This allows me to get out of my "me" hole, and really see those around me. There are too many blessings to be joyful about, I don't need to waste time feeling down, not liking myself. Life is beautiful, God is glorious, and He loves me as I am.
Therefore... I will be glad! Jesus has overcome the world. I will trust Him. I will work at not allowing my inadequacies to overwhelm me. Each new day is a gift. I will take time to notice the blessings throughout my day, and I will give thanks for them.
Life doesn't start when I have it all together, it has already begun. And it is a good life.
"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Life is messy. I had this expectation that the older I got, the better handle I'd have on things. You know- finally have it all together or something. Seems more like the opposite. The older I get, the more responsibilities I have, the less equipped I feel to handle them. Always something to learn, new challenges to face, ways to grow. And that's good, it makes life exciting! But there are also plenty of opportunities to make mistakes. And I do, all the time. It can be so frustrating. Mistakes in friendships, in marriage, at work, in trying to eat healthy, in sticking to a budget, in being productive, etc.. Some days it feels like that's all I am, a giant mess up. It can be disheartening. I've let it get me down for too long. But guess what?! There is good news!! God reminded me He has not given up on me. And if He hasn't given up on me, who do I think I am to give up on myself?!? I will continue to have hope because I have Jesus.
So now, I can see my failures as opportunities to grow. My failures don't mark the end, but just a step along the way. I am so imperfect. I am so messy. I am so in need of forgiveness. I am constantly being molded and changed, IF I open myself up to it. When I stop focusing on my failures, I can seek God and His forgiveness. I can move on and learn from my mistake. This allows me to get out of my "me" hole, and really see those around me. There are too many blessings to be joyful about, I don't need to waste time feeling down, not liking myself. Life is beautiful, God is glorious, and He loves me as I am.
Therefore... I will be glad! Jesus has overcome the world. I will trust Him. I will work at not allowing my inadequacies to overwhelm me. Each new day is a gift. I will take time to notice the blessings throughout my day, and I will give thanks for them.
Life doesn't start when I have it all together, it has already begun. And it is a good life.
"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Found on Google. I love the first rainy days of Fall. So refreshing. Makes me happy.
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Quite possibly the worst blogger ever
I'm not a good writer, I don't have especially interesting things to say, and I only post a few times a year... it's quite possible I may be the worst blogger ever.
OHHHHH well!
Update:
1. I graduated from PT school last month! I passed my board exam in April! Soooo... I'm officially a licensed physical therapist.
2. I'm working in an inpatient acute setting for Legacy Health!
3. Corey is finishing up a supervisor-in-training program at Costco. He is now officially full-time at Costco!
4. We're moving in with my parents this weekend for a bit to try to save up some $$$.
5. Loving the song, "Keep Making Me" by Sidewalk Prophets.
I don't know anyone who likes the idea of feeling broken, empty, and lonely. But this song reminds me that these feelings might be exactly what I need to bring me closer to God and make Him my ONE desire. Still scary things to pray for though.
6. Lots of changes- graduating, getting a real-life job, so many friends moving away, Corey and I leaving the first place we lived together. Anyone who knows me well knows how much I love change! (Just kidding!!!!). Trying hard to not freak out, praying for peace and trust during this time. Glad that whatever comes our way, we have each other and our families.
OHHHHH well!
Update:
1. I graduated from PT school last month! I passed my board exam in April! Soooo... I'm officially a licensed physical therapist.
3. Corey is finishing up a supervisor-in-training program at Costco. He is now officially full-time at Costco!
4. We're moving in with my parents this weekend for a bit to try to save up some $$$.
5. Loving the song, "Keep Making Me" by Sidewalk Prophets.
I don't know anyone who likes the idea of feeling broken, empty, and lonely. But this song reminds me that these feelings might be exactly what I need to bring me closer to God and make Him my ONE desire. Still scary things to pray for though.
6. Lots of changes- graduating, getting a real-life job, so many friends moving away, Corey and I leaving the first place we lived together. Anyone who knows me well knows how much I love change! (Just kidding!!!!). Trying hard to not freak out, praying for peace and trust during this time. Glad that whatever comes our way, we have each other and our families.
Sunday, February 23, 2014
February 2014
How is it almost the end of February 2014?!?! NUTS!
Short update:
1. Corey is still working away at Costco
2. I'm enjoying my internship at The KOR Physical Therapy
3. I will graduate with my doctorate of physical therapy in mid-May!!!
4. Not sure where life will take me next as far as a job is concerned. It's an exciting and crazy feeling to not know where I will be in 3 months!
5. I will take my National exam at the end of April... prayers will be greatly appreciated ;)
6. Corey and I aren't sure where we will be living after I graduate, things are kind of up in the air as far as our lease will be ending (will we renew?), I'll be looking for a job, Corey's hoping to apply for supervisor in training soon...
Such an exciting time in our lives, looking forward to see where God will take us next.
Feeling very blessed to have such a wonderful and patient husband, to have fun and loving families, and to have such great friends in our lives. :) With all the uncertainties coming our way, it's great to feel so loved by those around us.
Short update:
1. Corey is still working away at Costco
2. I'm enjoying my internship at The KOR Physical Therapy
3. I will graduate with my doctorate of physical therapy in mid-May!!!
4. Not sure where life will take me next as far as a job is concerned. It's an exciting and crazy feeling to not know where I will be in 3 months!
5. I will take my National exam at the end of April... prayers will be greatly appreciated ;)
6. Corey and I aren't sure where we will be living after I graduate, things are kind of up in the air as far as our lease will be ending (will we renew?), I'll be looking for a job, Corey's hoping to apply for supervisor in training soon...
Such an exciting time in our lives, looking forward to see where God will take us next.
Feeling very blessed to have such a wonderful and patient husband, to have fun and loving families, and to have such great friends in our lives. :) With all the uncertainties coming our way, it's great to feel so loved by those around us.
Addition to my last blog
I know it has been a while since I've blogged, but I keep thinking there are a few things that are worth mentioning that I left out of the last blog.
It's not about weight. I know I mentioned BMI and definitions of obesity, etc.. But it's about fitness and wellness, not weight. Studies have shown that overweight and obese can be more fit than normal weight individuals who do not exercise. Just because someone is skinny or "normal weight" does not mean they are fit or healthy. Likewise, overweight or obese individuals can be fit. And, even if people are exercising and not seeing the physical results they want (ex. losing weight), there are still many, many benefits happening inside the body.
High blood pressure and cholesterol, increased risk of coronary artery disease and certain cancers are risk factors of leading a sedentary lifestyle. Not just risk factors of obesity.
We shouldn't be striving to achieve a certain weight, but more a level of fitness and wellness to improve general health.
So far I have done pretty well on my New Year's Resolution, it has been surprisingly easier than I thought. Anyways, just wanted to clarify that I'm encouraging all of us to pursue healthier lifestyles, not a certain weight.
It's not about weight. I know I mentioned BMI and definitions of obesity, etc.. But it's about fitness and wellness, not weight. Studies have shown that overweight and obese can be more fit than normal weight individuals who do not exercise. Just because someone is skinny or "normal weight" does not mean they are fit or healthy. Likewise, overweight or obese individuals can be fit. And, even if people are exercising and not seeing the physical results they want (ex. losing weight), there are still many, many benefits happening inside the body.
High blood pressure and cholesterol, increased risk of coronary artery disease and certain cancers are risk factors of leading a sedentary lifestyle. Not just risk factors of obesity.
We shouldn't be striving to achieve a certain weight, but more a level of fitness and wellness to improve general health.
So far I have done pretty well on my New Year's Resolution, it has been surprisingly easier than I thought. Anyways, just wanted to clarify that I'm encouraging all of us to pursue healthier lifestyles, not a certain weight.
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